Kisses and More
WOW! Think I just made a big mistake!!!! The guy came over again and we kissed some more and did some other stuff. I don't know what I'm thinking. I'm feeling scared, and sad, and confused, and dirty and I really need a friend. I'm ready to cry and throw up all at once. I feel like I need a shower and to brush my teeth. I'm also really scared because this is the first time I've ever done anything and it's almost as if it makes me officially gay. I could really use some kind words because I already have the "You are really going straight to hell" in mind.
posted by Seth R at 11:56 PM
5 Comments:
Congratulations on allowing yourself to be your officially gay self! What you did was entirely natural and normal, and not something to be ashamed of.
When you kissed, did that feel nice? When you did the other stuff, did that feel nice? Did you feel that you connected with another guy in a way you never had before?
The "first time" is something that should be remembered fondly. I hope what will solidify in your memory are the positive aspects of the experience.
Relax. You should not be ashamed of yourself for any reason. If its that you are try to prohibit yourself from being gay, you should still treat the experience as a learning one. If you decide being gay is not what you want (the decision should be very well thought out) you should accept the fact that had a natural curiosity.
If the above is not the case, than don't worry about it. A kiss is the most innocent thing you have done. I still have not gotten my first kiss from a guy.
The suggestion I will make is becareful who you decide to have sex with. Not too much for the diseases (a very important factor) but because you don't want to be disapointed if the other guy just wanted your sex for one night. I heard the feling after a one night stand is the most emptiest of them all.
I want you to find a person you can rely on. I don't want you getting hurt and lonely.
I'm all for having sex. I would recommend having it deliberately when and where you think it's right though.
It doesn't have to be something where you feel unclean afterwards. Whether after thinking things through you believe that gay sex is right or wrong, I'm for following your own beliefs.
I hope you can find some loving guidance that you feel good about. There are plenty of people who don't believe you are going straight to hell, and I'm one of them.
You are not going straight to hell!
Without really knowing what you've done, let me say this. If what the 2 of you did was consensual, and no one got hurt...and you didn't hurt anyonelse, there's nothing to feel guilty for.
Did you do this becuase you felt pressured or was it something that progressed naturally?
In either case, all you can do is be yourself. If you be yourself and not something someone else thinks you should be, you'll be okay in the end.
Just make sure you use protection
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