1st post
So, I'm not very good at this blogging thing but maybe I'll get better and with this being semi anonymous it may help me to be able to really delve into my mind and write what I'm going through.
Lets start with some basics, I'm a 22 year old (Soon to be 23) student. I love theater in all forms, acting, directing, tech work. It doesn't matter. That being said I am gay and dealing with it. I have a semi supportive family who knows and some incredible supportive friends. My biggest problem is that having been brought up in a Christian home it is hard to deal with. I've been spending the last week getting back on my depression Medicine because stupid me, I started to feel leveled out and stopped taking them.
School is really stressing me out. I'm just not motivated to be here. I like my classes and am really busy outside of class so my homework isn't finding it's self accomplished and I really don't care. Here I am typing away when I should be working on project for a class. I don't want to fail but I'm feeling trapped in a world, a place I don't want to be in. I have student loans that have to get paid back and if I'm I school I don't have to start paying them but at the same time I'm just racking up more.
Last year at this time I had a almost complete physical and emotional breakdown because I could see my life just slipping away and I feel like I'm headed back in the same duration. I don't have all the same outside forces like best friends abandoning me this time so I might not completely lose it again but I'm definitely headed in a direction that scares me. I like to be in control and when I get like this I' m not in control.
Wow being able to just spot this out has helped a little. I don't have to worry about people thinking less of me for saying it because people don't know who I am.
Lets start with some basics, I'm a 22 year old (Soon to be 23) student. I love theater in all forms, acting, directing, tech work. It doesn't matter. That being said I am gay and dealing with it. I have a semi supportive family who knows and some incredible supportive friends. My biggest problem is that having been brought up in a Christian home it is hard to deal with. I've been spending the last week getting back on my depression Medicine because stupid me, I started to feel leveled out and stopped taking them.
School is really stressing me out. I'm just not motivated to be here. I like my classes and am really busy outside of class so my homework isn't finding it's self accomplished and I really don't care. Here I am typing away when I should be working on project for a class. I don't want to fail but I'm feeling trapped in a world, a place I don't want to be in. I have student loans that have to get paid back and if I'm I school I don't have to start paying them but at the same time I'm just racking up more.
Last year at this time I had a almost complete physical and emotional breakdown because I could see my life just slipping away and I feel like I'm headed back in the same duration. I don't have all the same outside forces like best friends abandoning me this time so I might not completely lose it again but I'm definitely headed in a direction that scares me. I like to be in control and when I get like this I' m not in control.
Wow being able to just spot this out has helped a little. I don't have to worry about people thinking less of me for saying it because people don't know who I am.
posted by Seth R at 11:13 AM
1 Comments:
Hi,
My name is Bill. I read your comment on GM's blog, that's how I found your blog. I just wanted to encourage you to continue to write. I have enjoyed reading GM's blog and corresponding with him for about a year now. I wish you well.
Bill
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